


In x My x Dreams

by Kirbydesu248



Series: Dreams AU [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: BB, Boyfriends, Challenges, College AU, Dates, Dating, Dreams, Escape, Family Abuse, First Kisses, First Meeting, Fluff, Gen, General, Hunter x Hunter - Freeform, HxHBB18, Killugon - Freeform, Love, M/M, Romance, Runaway, School, Soulmate AU, This is gonna be a series, bigbang18, college apps, hisoka's a perv teacher, hxh - Freeform, hxhbb, mentions of abuse, non Canon, relationships, the boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-04-30 01:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14485980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirbydesu248/pseuds/Kirbydesu248
Summary: Koibito no yume, Lover’s Dream- The phrase coined for the phenomenon where you are plagued with dreams from birth of a faceless individual who is your soulmate. You can dream of their lives, their family, their personality, but you will never see their face or know their name until the day that you see them in real life. For some who meet during childhood, the dreams are like second nature. They don’t even know that there’s anything significant about them because they were so young when their soulmate was faceless. For others, they’re haunted by those dreams for years.For Killua Zoldyck and Gon Freecss, this was the case, the dreams lasted for eighteen years. Killua dreamed of a boy living with his aunt after his father left him, homeschooled and sheltered from the world. Gon dreamed of a boy raised in an abusive household who was forced to do things and forced to grow up too quickly. One has all the love in the world from only one person, the other lacks any genuine love while constantly surrounded by others. Neither has a clear goal in life. Neither having a friend. Both searching for love and acceptance. Both enrolling at The University of Yorknew- as roommates. Then the dreams change.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! This is my HxHBigBang2018 fic! I know I don't have the greatest track record with multi-chap fics, but this one is completed already! I'm going to post a chapter each Sunday until the prologue and all four chapters are uploaded! This is also going to be part of a series/collection of mine because I'm so in love with this AU! 
> 
> Word Count: 13,366  
> Killugon Prompt: 8

**Prologue**

 

Killua dreamt of the strange boy for as long as he could remember. His skin was tan. He was a bit shorter than him, muscular with callouses and small scars from how clumsy and careless he was. Black hair with a greenish hue- a shade that somehow matched the green clothes he was never seen without to a T.

And even though Killua never saw the boy’s face, a smooth expanse of skin, a blank canvas where his face should have been- Killua always somehow pictured freckles there. He wondered if the boy’s eyes were green to tie in the color’s odd appearance. Or maybe a brown or hazel to match the earth, since the boy being in the woods was a near constant in his dreams. Perhaps a startling blue since he was so in love with the sea- the boy was much more worthy of diamonds for eyes than Killua was. 

Would he have a thin nose or large one? A hundred lashes or a thousand? Soft lips or chapped ones?

He seemed to know so much about the boy: his hobbies, what his family was like, his past, even vague details about his home. But no matter how hard Killua tried to find him, those details were never enough. No face, no name. The boy truly was a mystery. An infuriatingly beautiful one that has plagued his dreams since birth. 

But, despite how frustrating it was trying to track him down, the boy was an escape. An escape from his cruel family; from the nightmares that haunted his dreams when the boy wasn’t there; from the darkness that he was lost in, floundering without hope of crawling away from.

The boy was light. And, oh, did he long for the day when the boy could take him away in real life, instead of simply in his dreams. He longed for the day when he could experience the light for himself without fear.

  
  
  


Gon couldn’t remember the first time that he dreamed of the boy he was destined to spend eternity with- which was normal, of course. Perfectly natural. The dreams started from birth- some argued that they could appear as early as in the womb. So it would stand to reason that he couldn’t remember his first encounter with his soul mate. But every night, Gon went to bed with an eager glint in his eyes, hardly able to hold in his eagerness to see him again.

The boy Gon dreamt of most nights was interesting to say the least, a stark contrast to Gon. Atop his head was snow white hair that appeared soft to the touch. The boy was frail and slim, though taller than Gon by an inch or so. But what intrigued Gon the most was the smooth skin where his face should have been- the skin was reminiscent to that of one of the porcelain dolls that Mito kept in the attic, pale and delicate. Gon wondered if his soulmate was gifted with this beautiful skin from birth or if it was caused by being sheltered from the sun.The boy was a puzzle just waiting to be solved- unfortunately for Gon, he was never very good at puzzles. 

Eyes are the window to the soul, as they say. And the boy’s was beautiful and hesitant, dazzling. Gon imagined him with blue or green eyes as a result. What he wasn’t sure about was whether they were bright or subdued. Because that was the boy in a nutshell. Some dreams he seemed excited and wanting to spend all the time in the world playing and exploring, other dreams he would be withdrawn like a wounded animal. 

Gon wasn’t sure how he could know so much, yet so little about him. The dreams and that ever present invisible force never allowed him to know enough to find the boy, but provided the details Gon needed to know that he needed to find him as quickly as possible. The boy’s scar’s were different from Gon’s- shaped from weapons rather than thistles and thorns, growing in number each night. Sometimes in the dreams, the boy would look terrified and he would have bruises in the shape of a hand winding around his frail limbs. He was getting thinner and Gon worried that he would break if he touched him. 

So Gon treasured these dreams because they not only provided clues to find his soulmate, but maybe, just maybe, he could provide a bit of solace for the boy. Maybe, just maybe, he could save him.

  
  
  


The dreams were a learning process. They had distinct rules, rules that Killua learned a lot as he went along. For instance, he couldn’t control dreams that the boy wasn’t in. He couldn’t control the nightmares of his family or the nonsensical dreams that he wouldn’t remember as soon as he woke. But he could both control and remember, vividly, the dreams of the boy. That is, he could control them to a certain degree. 

The most important rule was that anything that could reveal their identities was prevented by whatever mysterious force was simultaneously bringing them together and keeping them apart. They could play games, talk about normal life, talk about themselves- as long as all of this was done in vague detail that wouldn’t reveal their identity. Killua knew the boy had never played video games, loved seafood, lived with his aunt in some coastal town, and was homeschooled. But if he tried to ask what coast he lived on or what his aunt’s name was, Killua would get tongue-tied, as if whatever force was at work somehow knew exactly what he was planning on saying before he even knew himself.

But that was okay, because they found other things to talk about. And, boy, did the boy talk about anything and everything that he was able to. Rambling on about his day, about himself, asking about Killua. And Killua was completely content with simply listening to the boy’s banter and answering his questions to the best of his ability. He could tell that the boy didn’t talk to many people his age aside from him. And, to be honest, that fact made Killua flush with happiness. Not to mention, having a soulmate was just exciting in general... for both of them. 

The boy made him feel safe and accepted. Killua could be himself here. He could be excited and mischievous without receiving a scolding or getting hit. He could play games with the boy without being laughed at. There was not pressure or fear. So they talked and got to know each other the best that they could each night. And, though Killua knew nothing of the boy’s identity, he was content with that for now. He was just happy with him simply being there.

  
  
  


Sometimes the boy with the white hair didn’t talk. There were nights, nights when blood trickled and hardened over fresh wounds, where the boy of Gon’s dreams was deathly silent. No matter what games Gon suggested playing, no matter what jokes he made or how big of a smile stretched across his face in an attempt to please his soulmate, the boy would remain standing without sound.

Most times when this happened, Gon would eventually sink down to the ground, pulling the boy to do the same. They would sit like this for hours in complete silence. Gon learned to give the boy space. Space enough so that he wasn’t smothering him, while still remaining close by for comfort. 

It was his family. Gon may have been oblivious at times, he may not have gotten the greatest grades and jokes tended to fly over his head, but he wasn’t stupid by any means. The boy was very skinny and pale, something that Gon had decided over time was not hereditary. He had countless scars already, but some nights he had welts and gashes coating every bit of skin that Gon could see. He wondered if the boy’s face was as damaged as the rest of his body. He shied away from any form of touch that wasn’t associated with a game or tickling- and even then, the boy almost always tensed up. The boy knew no affection, and that broke Gon’s heart. How could someone damage his soulmate so badly? It wasn’t fair. And he would make them pay.

Tonight was one of those nights where the boy’s beautiful white skin was battered in fresh wounds. When Gon arrived, the boy was already sitting on the bank of a river, his shoulders rising and falling quickly and his arms curled around himself. Gon hadn’t seen him cry before and he hated it. He inwardly vowed that once he had the boy outside of their dreams, he would never let anyone cause him to shed a tear again.

Gon’s footsteps were light as he approached and sat next to the boy. He chose not to speak at first, letting his soulmate quietly cry before Gon hugged him close. The boy’s frame immediately tensed and he struggled to pull away, only for Gon’s grasp around him to tighten a bit. He brought a calloused hand to the boy’s hair and ran his fingers through the tresses to soothe him. It took a few seconds, but eventually the boy sank against Gon’s body, bringing a smile to the tan boy’s face. “Don’t worry,” Gon whispered, “I’ll take you away from them. I’ll never let them hurt you again once I’ve found you.”


	2. Chapter 1 - Killua

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua has it all together in the eyes of the world. He has an famous (or infamous, depending on who you're talking to) family, is at the top of his class, everybody either wants him or wants to be him. But they never see the torment behind the seens or the pressure that builds. Thankfully he does have things to press on towards- his butlers, his dreams, and his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've noticed that my chapters are a little short, so I'm sorry for that! However this fic is the first part in a series so think of this fanfiction as setting the scene? After I finish this, there will be one-shots, multi-chaps, drabbles... I'm really in love with this au so there will be more and the characters are going to be flushed out and mentioned more in future works. So if your favorite character isn't brought up or there is a character you think should be part of the story, more likely than not, they already have planned out parts in future works in the series. But go ahead and suggest characters if you're worried about it <3  
> So.... here's the first actual chapter!

**Chapter 1**

 

Killua Zoldyck enjoyed spending hours at the park near his house after school. It was one of the few escapes that he had- the other three being school itself, his minimum wage job at the movie theater, and his dreams. And even then, he was never truly free. His family still spoke to his teachers and went to school events, still saw movies, still haunted his nightmares. At least at the park, no one knew where he was. He could hide out in the trees and nature trails, prolonging his inevitable return home.

No one understood the complete and utter hell he went through on a daily basis. No one knew the scars he bore, the fears the plagued him. Despite the fact that he lived in a mansion, the walls threatened to close in on him, to suffocate him to death. To the world, Killua Zoldyck had it made. He was the top of his class with a 4.0, was the son of a wealthy power couple, always got whatever he wanted. But the world didn’t see what happened behind closed doors. They never saw what happened when he made anything below an A on a paper, or when he failed to make Honor Roll one semester- the countless beatings, going to bed without dinner, the blatant disappointment and fear. The world never saw that, despite having a wealthy family who planned out his entire future, he was sick with the responsibility he was burdened with and felt as if he were nothing but a trapped animal. No one realized that getting whatever physical possessions he wanted meant nothing when he was starved for affection and love. To the students of Padokea Prep, Killua was beautiful. But underneath his sleeves he bore scars and bruises that were anything but. Yes, Killua had it all together on the outside, but inside he was crumbling.

The only thing that kept Killua holding onto life was his soulmate. He’d never met him before, only ever seeing him in his dreams. _Koibito no yume_ , or Lover’s Dream: the phenomenon that occurs from birth in which you’re able to interact with your soulmate in your dreams. The only catch? They don’t have a face until you meet them in person, and only then will you find out their name and identity. For Killua, his soulmate remained nameless and faceless his entire life. He knew the basics- that he was his age, lived in a coastal town somewhere with his aunt, loved the forest, and was homeschooled. His soulmate was flaky and talked his ear off. He was oblivious, but sincere. Killua knew that he loved him- that they loved each other. It was both unfortunate and ironic that the person who knew and understood him most in this world, seemed to only exist in his dreams.

Killua tried every second of his waking (and dreaming) life, trying to discover who this mysterious boy was. But the dreams were tricky. No identities or identifying information could be revealed (Each and every time either of them tried to ask or answer forbidden questions, they would get tongue-tied.). And, despite his soulmate having a distinguishable green tinge to his hair and despite him supposedly living on a small island, Killua was never able to find him.

Every single clue that he had led to another dead end. He’d tracked down countless look-a-likes, only for his soulmate to remain faceless in that night’s dream. It seemed hopeless attempting to find one person in a world of billions. But Killua didn’t have much to hold onto these days and at least he had the guarantee that he’d find his soulmate _someday_. And that guarantee was enough to get him through his hellish life, especially when the faceless boy could see him in his dreams.

For now, Killua hid away in one of the many trees towering over the trails. His feet dangled from a limb, his back resting against the trunk as he gazed up at the thick cloud coverage that threatened to bring more snow. The air was brisk but he didn’t mind- it kept his mind alert and allowed him to think more clearly. Think about his future, his soulmate, how he would get out. He had big plans- he’d go to the University of Yorknew, study something _fun_ for once and not necessarily _practical_ , and he’d search the world for the one he loved. He closed his eyes and pictured that golden tan skin, that spiked hair, those calloused hands, those gaudy green clothes-

A shrill rings broke Killua out of his trance. He directed his eyes down at his phone and let out a heavy sigh at the blinking digits reading 5:30 that only seemed to mock him. Dinner would be ready soon and he really didn’t need another beating or missing out another meal just because he was late. He already hadn’t been eating the best and he’d been getting noticeably thinner- yeah, he definitely couldn’t afford that. He swung his legs over the limb and climbed down, careful to dust himself off before turning off his alarm and starting his trek back to the car.

“Well, back to the real world.”

* * *

 

Killua was light on his feet as he crept into the grand threshold of the Zoldyck Estate looking around for any sign of his family, praying he could make it to the safety of his room before being noticed. Though he’d managed to make it home well before dinner, catching his parents on a bad day resulted in a bad day for himself. Beneath the plush fabric of his sweater, bruises throbbed and gashes stung as a grim reminder. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on his side and one of his older brothers was descending the staircase just as he made it inside.

“Look who finally decided to show up.” Milluki said with a sneer, “Mom and Dad are pretty pissed with you. Turns out precious little Killua isn’t so perfect after all.”

“Yeah, whatever. At least I don’t just sit around eating Ding-Dongs and Cheetos all day, jacking off to cheap pornos.” Killua muttered, scowling at his brother. Though, despite his confident front, the younger Zoldyck was filled with dread at the thought of being his parents’ punching bag again. In front of him Milluki gritted his teeth, his cheeks reddening with anger.

“What makes you think you can talk to me like that?” The older boy asked, barely holding in his temper.

“Probably the fact that you’re nothing but a useless piggy.” Killua said, rolling his eyes.

Milluki shook, snarling under his breath. “Why you little-”

“Master Killua, your parents would like to speak with you.” Another male voice traveled down the stairs, a tall man in a suit and glasses standing at the top. Killua grimaced but jogged up the steps, completely bypassing his brother and ignoring the insults following him.

“Gotoh, you seriously need to quit it with the ‘Master’ stuff. It’s Killua- _just_ Killua.” Killua said, giving the taller male an annoyed look as they walked to his parents’ suite.

“As I have told you countless times, Master Killua, I am one of your family’s servants. To address you so casually would be an insult to my employers.” Gotoh replied, adjusting his glasses. Killua scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“You do realize this is the 21st century, right? Just because my parents are stuffy and too lazy to make their own food or clean their house doesn’t mean-”

“Master Killua, don’t speak about your parents in a negative light. They work hard to make sure that you’re cared for and protected.”

“Right, and that’s what the scars are from. Protecting me.” Killua said dryly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Gotoh was silent, not sure how to respond. Killua felt awkward and lowered his head, hiding his eyes behind his bangs, “I’m perfectly capable of walking myself. Go make dinner or dust something with a toothbrush- whatever the hell you servants do.”

“...Yes, Master Killua.” Gotoh said quietly after a moment, turning to return to his duties.

Killua sighed softly, feeling a little guilty for being so harsh. Gotoh was his favorite of the servants, acting as more of a father figure that his own father sometimes. Gotoh was the one to comfort him from nightmares, bandage wounds, teach him life lessons and how to navigate college applications. Gotoh was the one to encourage him to apply for the University of Yorknew against his parents’ wishes. His servants respected him more than his own family did. So Killua felt terrible whenever he lost his temper with the man, but his family just drove him insane.

Killua slowly approached his parents’ bedroom door and knocked, feeling that familiar sense of dread rising once again. He considered doubling back and locking himself in his room to avoid whatever he was going to get yelled at for this time, though he knew no one could ever avoid Silva and Kikyo Zoldyck.

“Hey, um, it’s me. You wanted to talk?” He called in, trying to keep his voice even.

“Yes, come on in, Killua.” Silva’s voice traveled under the door. Killua hesitantly entered the room and walked down the hall, seeing his parents sitting at their breakfast table with a packet in front of them.

“So… What’s up?” Killua started after a moment of the two of them staring at him expectantly, “Pig- Uh, I mean, Milluki said you were mad at me. Did I do something wrong?” Their gaze didn’t falter and Killua found himself shifting uncomfortably, “Listen, I’m sorry I came home a little late. I was getting a few extra hours at work- but I made it back before dinner!”

“You know perfectly well what you did wrong, young man.” Kikyo stood abruptly, scowling at her son. “Honestly, how could I have a son so willing to waste his potential-?”

“Kikyo, darling, please calm down.” Silva reached up, placing a hand on his wife’s shoulder. She slowly sat down, her piercing eyes never leaving Killua’s wide ones. Silva beckoned his son to come closer with his finger, sliding the packet in his direction. “Would you mind explaining this?”

Killua’s eyebrows knitted in confusion, his gaze falling on the object of his parents’ anger. He moved to the table, tensing at the return address of the mailed packet: _University of Yorknew_.

“Go ahead. Open it, Killua.” Silva urged, and Killua could have sworn that he heard the trace of excitement hidden in his collected composure.

Killua took the packet and, with shaking hands, slid his fingers along the seal before breaking it. Though he knew his parents wouldn’t let him go now that they found out, Killua couldn’t help but feel nervous anticipation. His fingers removed the contents from the envelope- an orientation booklet, a scholarship acceptance form, and a letter beginning with the line he’d dreamt of reading since he applied: _Congratulations, Mr. Zoldyck. I am pleased to inform you of your acceptance to the University of Yorknew_. He was frozen in surprise, not sure if he should show any form of excitement in front of his parents, as he reread the words over and over again.

“Well, were you accepted?” Silva prodded. Beside him, Kikyo was furious.

“Of course he was! If he wasn’t accepted into public university, it would be a disgrace!” She snapped, her voice shrill with displeasure. “It’s embarrassing that he even applied. We’ve already discussed that he’ll be attending Padokea University and living near home. He has no reason to leave when one of the top schools in the world is only miles away.”

“Darling, let Killua have his moment. This is his first acceptance letter. I’m sure he’s ecstatic.” Silva said before turning to Killua with a soft smile, “I’m very proud of you. Although it’s not where we want you to go, and I’m not happy with you doing this without permission, I’m proud of you for applying all on your own and getting in.”

“Th-Thanks, Dad.” Killua said quietly, looking away from the paper and up to his father, his cheeks tinged in a light shade of pink from the praise. Killua really wanted to go- no he _needed_ to go. So his next plan of action? Butt-kissing, and lots of it. “I’m sorry that I went behind your backs with this. But I did research and Yorknew is a really good school! They have an honors college and I could get a full ride! I know a diploma from Yorknew isn’t as amazing a degree from Padokea, but I could be the top of my class at Yorknew. I wouldn’t have as much competition there, so it would look really good!”

“I will not have a son of mine attending a public university. End of story.” Kikyo said, giving Killua a sharp look.

“Please, mom. I’ll work really hard. I’ll handle everything on my own. I’ll take extra courses and-” Killua pleaded, feeling exceedingly more frustrated and upset, despite knowing that he wouldn’t be allowed to attend from the beginning.

“Absolutely not.” Kikyo snapped, “Your performance isn’t the problem here. Our reputation is on the line-”

“That’s enough!” Silva bellowed, looking from his wife to his son. “Kikyo, we’ll discuss this, but if Killua is ready to work for this and to do it on his own, I think we should consider it. Every kid wants to get out on their own and make a name for themselves. Why don’t we give him a chance? He’ll be held responsible, of course, and he’ll still abide by our rules while he’s here. Right, Killua?”

Killua nodded emphatically, “Yes, sir! I’ll do whatever I need to. I really want to go. I’ll study extra and work more hours. I’ll take as many classes I need to take.”

Silva smiled and looked back at Kikyo, seeing the woman’s resolve slipping ever so slightly. “Kikyo, we raised a good son who’s willing to do whatever it takes to get the education that he wants. Don’t you think that means we did our job as parents? He’ll be back once he’s graduated and you won’t have to worry.”

Kikyo sighed deeply, her face tight in disapproval. “I suppose your father has a point. We’ll consider letting you move to Yorknew as long as you keep up your grades.”

Killua stared at them dumbfounded, the words swirling around in his head, not quite sinking in. _I… I can go?_ “I’m...You mean… I can…”

“Use your words, or else I might take back my decision.” Kikyo scolded. Silva kept his face stern, though his eyes shown a bit of amusement. Killua swallowed and nodded shortly.

“S-Sorry… Thank you- both of you. I’ll do my best and I’ll make you proud.” Killua barely managed, realizing that this was real.

Silva nodded, “I’m sure you will. Now go work on your homework until dinner.”

Killua nodded, turning on his heels and practically ran out of the room. As soon as he was out of earshot, he let out a loud whoop and a grin spread on his face. One of the servants, a girl a few years older than him quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement. He immediately flushed when he noticed her, rubbing the back of his neck. “S-Sorry, that was embarrassing.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Master Killua. Good news, I take it?” She questioned with a hopeful look on her face, walking with him on his way back to his room. He narrowed her eyes at her.

“Canary, how many times do I have to tell you? _Killua_. Last time I checked that’s what’s on my birth certificate- not ‘master’.” Killua said, nudging her shoulder a bit.

“Right, sorry about that.” Canary laughed, nudging him back with her shoulder. “But you avoided the question.”

Killua smiled warmly at her, proud of himself. Canary was the only other servant other than Gotoh that he’d clicked with- the only other one to see him as a person, rather than as an employer. She was a bit stiff, sure, but that’s only because she had to be to keep the job. Killua had softened her up quite a bit over the years and was the only one to break through her shell. She was also his inspiration throughout the application process, Yorknew being her dream school as well. He handed her the acceptance packet, “I got in! I did it, Canary!”

Her response was instantaneous. She looked at the packet in her hands before throwing her arms around him, backing away after a few seconds with a bashful look. “I’m really proud of you, Killua! I knew you could do it! Gotoh and I both did.”

Killua’s heart swelled at that. Gotoh and Canary being proud of him meant more to him than his parents allowing him to go. After all, Killua was planning on sneaking out to attend anyway. He’d be eighteen by the time classes started in the fall and there wasn’t a thing his family could do about it. Canary and Gotoh, however, were the only true family that mattered. He sought their approval when denied his blood relatives’. They’d always supported him. “Thanks, Canary. I couldn’t have done it without you- Gotoh too.” He backpedaled, holding his breath. “What about you, though? Did you…”

Canary nodded with a grin. “I got my packet yesterday! I didn’t want to say anything until I found out about you.”

“That’s great!” Killua let out a sigh of relief, his face brightening. “We did it, Canary. We’re finally getting out of here.”

“It’s like a dream, honestly…” Canary smiled, a mischievous glint in her eyes, “Speaking of dreams, maybe you’ll find the man of your dreams in Yorknew.”

Killua rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t ignore the heat that rushed to his cheeks. “I should make you clean my room for joking like that. Do you know how big that place is?” Canary laughed.

“Do you know how big this world is? Based on your logic, you’ll never find him.” She pointed out, “You have to be positive. A lot of people meet their soulmates in college. And it’s not like you’ll find him going to a stuffy place like Padokea if he’s really an airhead like you say he is. A place like Yorknew is the perfect place to look for him.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Killua muttered, opening his bedroom door and turning back to her to give her a wry look, “You have a point, but I’m still not getting my hopes up. And before you say anything, I’m not being _pessimistic_. It’s called being realistic.”

“Okay fine. But there isn’t exactly anything realistic about dreaming of your soulmate, yet it still happens, doesn’t it?” Canary said, giving him a knowing smile before turning to leave. “He could be getting his acceptance letter right now and you’d never know.”

“Uh huh. Sure. You’re full of crazy ideas, Canary.” Killua muttered under his breath, shutting the door. He collapsed on his bed, pulling out the brochure and leafing through it, a grin once again forming on his lips. “Either way, this is my ticket to getting out of here.”


	3. Chapter 2 - Gon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon Freecss had a safe life, a happy one. But he knew his soulmate didn't. For that reason, he was bound and determined to go out into the world to save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, sorry!!! I realize this isn't technically Sunday. I realized I didn't update too late last night.

**Chapter 2**

Gon Freecss, at age seventeen, loved his life on Whale Island. It was peaceful, calm. It was his little home where nothing bad could happen to him- there weren’t kids who could give him problems or drama, no criminals or people who couldn’t be trusted since it was a simple fishing island where everyone knew each other, no reason for him to get hurt. He lived with his aunt, his father dropping him off at her house shortly after he was born. He was sheltered, to put it lightly. But he was happy and loved. His Aunt Mito was his entire world, caring for him and teaching him everything he knew- everything he needed to know. Gon was happy in his little world where he was safe and cared for. Where he could spend hours and nights out swimming off the coast or out in the woods, where he could live in nature (when Mito wasn’t on his case about school work). His sheltered life was cozy.

But Gon couldn’t stay there forever. He had dreams, aspirations. Though he cared little for his parents, he couldn’t help but wonder what was so attractive about the world for them to just leave him on Whale Island. He wanted to know if he could survive on his own. He wanted to know what real college was like, what real kids his age were like, what it was like to have a job and money, and a life away from his shelter. And then there was his soulmate...

“He’s just so… incredible. He’s got this white fluffy hair- or at least I think it’s fluffy. It  _ looks _ fluffy, but he won’t let me touch it. And his skin’s so pretty, even though it’s really pale, it makes him look like… like one of those porcelain dolls. He’s really nice and he listens to me and he likes going on adventures with me. He doesn’t think I’m weird and-and he’s my best friend. Who else gets lucky enough to have their best friend as a soulmate?” Gon said with a goofy grin, his brown eyes filled with wonder. “What do you think his eyes are like? I think they’re blue… or maybe green? Yeah, maybe green. Whatever color they are, I bet they’re really pretty. And he probably has an amazing smile, too. Maybe dimples? He gets flustered a lot, so I bet he blushes. What do you think?”

He leaned forward on the rock he was perched on, resting his chin on his hands. The squirrel in front of him, tilted its head before munching on the acorn in its paws again. Gon didn’t seem phased by the animal’s lack of interest and leaned back on his hands, letting out a dreamy sigh.

Gon dreamed of his soulmate since before he could remember. That faceless boy that made him want to risk everything to go out in the world, to face his greatest fears in order to find him. When Gon was little, the expanse of skin replacing the boy’s face would scare him. But he quickly learned that his soulmate’s personality was anything but scary. He only spoke when there was reason to- either to tease Gon for talking too much or for doing something stupid, to comfort Gon if he was having a bad day, to offer wisdom and advice about college applications, to offer information about himself, or ask information about Gon. The mysterious boy barely spoke just simply for the heck of it or to hear himself. No, he was purposeful and thoughtful. He could definitely have fun and joke around, sure, but rambling like Gon? Not a chance. Gon’s soulmate was collected and thoughtful, patiently listening to everything that Gon said. He was reserved, cautious… and beautiful inside and out. 

“I know I haven’t seen him in person yet, but I’m really lucky. Falling in love with your soulmate before you even technically meet them… How lucky is that? He’s so kind, even though he teases me all the time, and I can’t wait to go to bed so I can see him every night. I know he might not love me back.I mean, it’s crazy to love some guy in your dreams. But isn’t is crazy to dream about your soulmate at all? Especially when he doesn’t have a face…” Gon laughed softly with a smile, “None of that matters, though. Because he’s my soulmate. I wonder what his name is... Probably something exotic or unique… I can’t really imagine him having anything normal and boring- he’s too beautiful for that.”

Yes, Gon’s soulmate was beautiful, but Gon discovered that his soulmate’s  _ life _ wasn’t. His soulmate was reserved for a reason. He was guarded because he felt he  _ had _ to be. His hesitancy only meant that there was cause for fear or uncertainty. Someone had to have made him feel like he couldn’t do or say certain things without being punished. But even more troubling were the scars. In the dreams, Gon and his soulmate were in the same condition as they were when they were awake. This meant when they were sick in the real world, they were sick in their dreams. If they had bruises or scratches or bug bites, they did in the dreams as well. Gon’s scars and injuries were from carelessness in the woods or clumsiness in the kitchen. But his soulmate… There were some nights where, when he saw him, Gon saw bruises in the shape of hands and scars caused by belts and switches. Nights where his soulmate was paler than usual and when he had blood trickling from fresh wounds. Nights where his soulmate was deathly silent and still, save for the slight shaking of his shoulders and quiet sniffles. It was when Gon first saw him cry that he vowed to take his soulmate away. He would search the ends of the earth for him and get an amazing job to support him and to keep him safe and healthy. He wanted the sweet boy to be loved for once, to  _ feel _ loved. Gon was going to save him no matter what he had to do or where he had to go. 

Gon Freecss was in love and he would do everything he could to show that love and acceptance to his soulmate. And the first step to doing that was the University of Yorknew. He could search for his soulmate and work towards a job to support said soulmate all at the same time. It was a genius idea, really, since U of Y was the largest school in the world. One could pass by hundreds of people in a single day there- and that’s just at the university. The city of Yorknew was even larger. So Gon was sure that there would be the best place to start his search.

“Gon? Sweetie, are you out here?” A woman’s voice broke through Gon’s thoughts. He perked up, recognizing it as his aunt’s. 

“Over here, Aunt Mito!” Gon called out, looking over his shoulder towards the source of her voice. A moment later, he saw her approaching with an excited look on his face, holding a large envelope. Gon sat up straight, looking at the envelope in curiosity. “What’s that?”

“Here, see for yourself.” Mito said with a smile, sitting down next to Gon. He took it from her hands, his eyes widening.

“It says it’s from the University of Yorknew! I wonder if I got in… I hope I did! I really, really hope I got in!” Gon said, staring at the envelope as if the return address would somehow answer him without him even having to break the seal. 

“Well then, why don’t you take a look? You won’t find out by just staring at it, silly.” Mito said, giving Gon a smile.

Gon nodded and took a deep breath before unceremoniously tearing open the envelope. He shakily stuffed his hand inside and grabbed the contents. His eyes quickly scanned everything- the brochure, financial aid forms, acceptance letter. “I got it.” He whispered, his eyes burning with tears before blinking up at Mito, “I got in! I get to go to Yorknew!” 

Mito was already crying before her nephew even looked at her. She hugged him tightly, smiling softly. “I always knew that you would, sweetheart. I never doubted you for a second.” 

Gon pulled back with a frown, wiping at his eyes and sniffling. “Then why are you always so mean when I’m doing school work and application?”

“Just because I believe in you, doesn’t mean I haven’t had to push you. And it’s called being tough, not being mean.” Mito said with a smile, drying her own eyes. “I’m so proud of you. And I know you’ll do amazingly in college, even without me there to keep you focused.” 

“Thanks, Aunt Mito. But I’m always gonna need you. No matter what. And I’ll be back okay? And I’ll write to you every day and call you.” Gon said, hugging her again. Mito laughed, her voice tight with emotion.

“How did I get so lucky to have such a sweet boy?” Mito said softly. Gon laughed, pulling back and beaming at her.

“Same way that I got so lucky to have a parent like you.” Gon said softly. Mito froze, her eyes widened in surprise. He continued, giving her an affectionate smile, “I’m really glad you raised me instead of Ging or whoever my mom is. You’re a better parent then they would have been and you’ve made me really, really happy. Even though there aren’t other kids around here my age, I’ve had you and the forest and everything I could ever want. So thank you, Aunt Mito.” 

Mito smiled at him, tears once again streaming down her cheeks. “I love you too, sweetheart.” She stood and held out her hand, “Let’s go celebrate, okay? We can go get whatever food you want.”

“Thanks, Aunt Mito!” Gon said, a smile stretching across his face as he grabbed the woman’s hand and stood. 

The two of them walked side by side through the forest in the direction of town, chattering excitedly about college and about whether to get seafood or pasta. Soon their talking died down and they were left walking in silence. Gon hated silence. It was why he was always talking, even when he was alone. Silence brought him thoughts of his soulmate, yes. But those thoughts weren’t always positive. With his happiness from his acceptance letter came fear for his love. He wondered if his soulmate received any acceptance letters and how they were received by his parents. He’d learned through research that abuse usually equaled control, and, if his soulmate’s parents truly were abusing him and truly did seek control over his life, would they allow him to go away to college? Would they give him the chance of freedom? 

“Honey? Are you alright? You seem a little upset.” Mito said, her brows knitted. She was in front of Gon and it was only then that he realized that he’d stopped walking.

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking.” Gon said, his voice a bit distant despite the small smile that was forced. Mito frowned with her hands resting on her hips.

“Yeah, I could tell. Is something bothering you?” Mito asked, her eyes softening, “Thinking about him again?”

Gon found himself flushing, though the worry never strayed from his eyes. He’d told Mito about his dreams, of course. She knew about his soulmate- that he was a boy around his age, that they clicked, and that Gon was in love. But he’d never mentioned his suspicions of abuse. Even with all that he’s told his aunt, but somehow his soulmate’s scars seemed… private. Still, how else could he explain to his aunt the reason behind his concern during a time when he was supposed to be thrilled? He didn’t want to lie to her. He couldn’t lie- not after all that Mito had done for him.

“Sweetheart?” Mito prodded, worry clouding her eyes. Gon shook his head softly, a sigh escaping his lips.

“I’m just hoping that he gets to go to college. I don’t know much about his family, but they’re a little…  _ controlling _ . He’s not lucky enough to have someone like you like I am. It’s hard being happy when I don’t know if he gets to go.” Gon said quietly, confiding in her. He hoped that she wouldn’t ask questions, because it was hard enough as is. Like he was telling her one of his soulmate’s darkest secrets. Unfortunately for him, Mito wasn’t the type to let things go easily.

“Gon… I need you to be honest with me.” Mito said, her eyes serious. “Is he in trouble?”

He faltered, unsure of the proper response. He never wanted to lie to Mito, not ever. But it seemed wrong to tell her about this. There wasn’t any point to anyway, since it wasn’t as if they could report this to the police. No one knew Gon’s soulmate’s identity. There was nothing that could be done. But the look in Mito’s eyes was the same look he was given each and every time he disobeyed her as a child- the same look that always got him singing like a canary. Slowly, the teen nodded. “He has scars, Aunt Mito…. So, so many. And he’s really pale and bruised all of the time. And usually when he is all bruised up, he’s quiet and his shoulders shake like he’s crying and-” 

“Gon, calm down.” Mito said, her hands reaching out to clutch Gon’s shoulders. “We can’t do anything about it now- for obvious reasons. But you have a unique opportunity to help him, one that no one else has. You get to be his  _ escape _ , sweetheart. You can distract him and make him laugh. You get to make him feel loved. He’s turning eighteen soon, right?”

Gon nodded, taking breaths to calm himself down. “Y-Yeah. In July.”

“Good. Then he’ll be an adult before school starts. If he wants to go badly enough then he can always find a way. And even if he can’t go this fall, he can always leave home when he’s an adult and go to school next year.” Mito’s voice was calm, working to keep her nephew from getting worked up again. “He’ll be alright, Gon. He has you, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Gon said, resolute. “He’ll always have me.”

* * *

 

Gon read and reread the name etched in plain black font on the bottom of his email:  **Killua Zoldyck** . To Gon, this name meant countless things. It meant that this was the name of his roommate, the student he would be living with for a year once he got to Yorknew. It meant an opportunity for him to have his first friend in the real world. It meant that this person, Killua, might know or even  _ be _ his soulmate. Gon knew that this was a childish thought. Out of every single student there, how would he be so lucky to meet his soulmate, let alone for him to be his roommate. But he couldn’t help it. He had maintained a childish innocence and a hopeful heart for the entirety of his seventeen years of life, so why would this be any exception?

It wouldn’t, of course, and once he’d read over the name a few more times for good measure, he directed his gaze to the contact information provided below Killua’s name. His fingers grabbed the house phone and dialed the number, before his thoughts were able to catch up to his actions. It wasn’t until the dialtones echoed through the speaker that Gon realized what he’d done, only now he was too frozen and overcome with nerves to do anything about it. 

“Hello?” A male voice caused Gon’s own voice to catch in his throat. His lips were moving but, unfortunately for him, no sound escaped. “Uh, hello? Who is th-” 

Gon’s finger abruptly smashed the  _ End Call _ button, sliding down onto the floor. Gon Freecss felt like he could die. “I’m so awkward! Why am I so awkward? He’s gonna see the email and my number and realize that it was  _ me _ that called and he’s going to think I’m a complete freak! Then he’s gonna look at my name and think I’m an even bigger freak! He’s gonna-” A shrill ring broke Gon out of his panic and his eyes widened, “Oh shit, he’s calling back. What do I do? What do I do? What do I-”

“Well, you can start by answering.” Mito said from behind the flustered boy. She looked down at him with an eyebrow quirked, “Just tell him you got a little nervous. Now hurry up, otherwise you  _ will _ look weird.” She prodded lightly, an amused glint in her eyes.

Gon nodded, dumbly watching her leave the room before quickly answering the call on the last ring. “H-Hello?” He held his breath as he anxiously waited for Killua’s voice to reply.

“Uh, yeah, hey. So you actually talk?” Killua’s voice broke through the speaker and Gon swore that he heard a smirk, “I was starting to think Yorknew set me up with a mute roommate. You’re name’s Gon, right? Did I say it right?” 

“Mhm! That’s me! But you pronounce my name like  _ gohn _ , not  _ gone _ .” Gon said, his voice light with relief. 

“No offense, but your name is pretty much the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. Who names their kid that?” Killua said, deadpanned. Gon puffed out his cheeks with his eyes narrowed. 

“Says the guy who’s named Killua. At least my name doesn’t sound threatening.” Gon huffed defiantly. He didn’t expect the cackling that followed.

“Yeah, yeah. You have a point. But in my defense, my parents are complete lunatics.” Killua said lightly.

“My dad left when I was really little. He wasn’t really cut out to be a parent.” Gon said, shrugging. He raised an eyebrow when he heard snickering.

“So I guess you could say he’s  _ gone _ , huh?” Killua said, laughing. “Suddenly your name makes much more sense.” 

“Killua! That’s not funny!” Gon whined, though he couldn’t stop himself from letting out his own giggles. 

“If it’s  _ so _ not funny, then why are you laughing too?” Killua said, still giggling. 

“Because I’m happy that I finally have someone to talk to!” Gon said honestly, a soft smile gracing his lips as he sat on the counter, “I live on this tiny island called Whale Island, and it’s primarily a fishing spot so there aren’t really any kids around here.” 

“Ew, sounds boring.” Killua’s reply came after a long pause, and there was a change in his tone that Gon didn’t understand.  _ Oh no... do I sound like a total freak? Is that not normal? What if-  _ “But that’s pretty cool that it’s a fishing place. I bet you see a lot of different kinds of people.” Gon’s muscles relaxed at the return of Killua’s interest.

“Yeah! Aunt Mito hates it, though. Sailors usually have bad manners and curse a lot. I’m pretty one of my first words was ‘fuck’...” Gon smiled when Killua’s laugh erupted through the speaker. It sounded oddly familiar, something that he couldn’t quite place but something that he wanted to hear more of. 

Killua’s laughter died down after a while, “I bet she has her hands full, huh?” 

Gon giggled, a sheepish look on his face. “Mhm, I don’t really like making it hard on her so I try my best to behave. But she always finds something to yell at me about.”

“Same here. Why are moms always so naggy? My mom is constantly making a fuss over not getting good enough grades or slacking off or whatever.” Killua said, a bit of resentment creeping through his casual tone. Gon frowned a bit.

“Is your whole family like that?” Gon caught himself and backpedaled a bit, “Ah- Sorry! Aunt Mito says I’m nosy a lot. I just got curious-” 

“You don’t need to apologize, stupid. It’s fine.” Killua’s teasing voice cut him off. He grew quieter, the resentment now overtaking that playful tone, “But yeah, pretty much. See, my parents and grandpa are these crazy successful business owners- but it’s all super shady. There’s bribery and illegal money stuff behind the scenes. I’m pretty sure there’s a ton I don’t know of, too. But to everyone else, they’re famous celebrities that anyone would kill to work for. My older brothers are involved now, and my parents want me to be the one taking over the business someday for whatever reason. No one likes their lives planned out for them, though. So I want out. Their expectations are too high anyway, and they’re way too snooty and uppity. I just want to be a kid, you know?” 

Gon’s frown deepened throughout the explanation. He couldn’t understand why a family would pressure their own child like that, why they would make him so miserable. “So they  _ are _ all like that…” 

“Well, not all of them. I have a younger brother and a younger sister too. They’re just little kids so they’re still all sweet and innocent. Alluka’s the older one. She’s treated even worse than me, which is a big reason why I want to be successful on my own- so I can give her the life she deserves. Then Kalluto’s this really shy little kid. He’s a mama’s boy, but I don’t think he could do what she does. He doesn’t have the mean spirit for that kind of thing.” Killua spoke softly, a quiet determination present, “I want to get them both out of here. That’s why Yorknew’s so important.” 

Gon smiled, feeling immense pride for his new friend. Killua’s passion and drive encouraged Gon to reveal his own. “I want to get out so I can find my soulmate.”

Killua’s sputter crackled through the speaker, “Y-You’re  _ what _ ?” 

“My soulmate. I wanna find him so I can give him a better life than he has.” Gon said, confusion evident in his voice. There was another pause and Gon was worried that he’d said something stupid, “I still haven’t seen his face yet and I figured that Yorknew would be a great place to look since it’s so huge…” 

“So… you’re just planning on going up and introducing yourself to every single person there until you meet him? Do you realize how unrealistic that is?” Killua said flatly. Gon puffed out his cheeks again, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“Well how else am I supposed to find him? I don’t even know where he’s going to college or where he lives… I have to start somewhere.” Gon mumbled, concentrating on the tiled floor of the kitchen, rather than the feeling of defeat creeping up. 

“Hey, listen, I’m sorry. Honestly, I’m kind of hoping I find mine there too. I’m just not getting my hopes up. Can’t be disappointed that way.” Killua’s voice was guilt-ridden.

“That’s not a good way to think of things, Killua. You have to be positive! I think we can both find our soulmates there!” Gon perked up, his optimistic personality once again shining. He giggled, hearing another sputter.

“You… You’re such an-” Killua’s voice broke off and Gon heard another muffled voice before his roommate’s returned, “I gotta go eat dinner. I’ll text you after, alright?” 

“Ah…” Gon’s face flushed and he found himself rubbing the back of his head, “I don’t really have a cell-phone? This is a landline…”

“You...don’t have one.” Killua started flatly, “Please tell me you aren’t from one of those freak families who think all technology is of the devil or something.”

“No! Besides, if I thought technology was bad, I couldn’t be talking to you or I couldn’t have applied for colleges!” Gon pointed out, laughing. “Whale Island is just a deadzone for cell service, so there’s no point in having one. Especially since everyone I know is within a few miles of me.” 

“Well, that’s a relief. I was about to freak out.” Killua laughed too, “But, seriously, I have to go or my parents will ream me for being late. I’ll call you after, though.”

“Okay! Bye, Killua!” Gon said, excited that Killua wanted to talk to him later. He’d never had a friend before. 

“Later.” Killua responded coolly. A second later the call ended and Gon was left, slouching against the wall with an easy smile on his face. 


	4. Chapter 3 - Killua

**Chapter 3**

 

“I’m on my way, you dork.” Killua said, holding his cell phone between his head and neck while he yanked one of his bags out of his back seat. “Seriously, I’m glad that you finally have a phone, but that doesn’t mean call me for every little thing.” 

 

“Killua!” Killua snickered at Gon’s whine, “That’s not fair. I don’t call you about everything. You said you’d be here at four-”

 

“Well, I’m here now aren’t I? I’m in the parking lot. There was a ton of traffic and I didn’t time it right, but I’ll be up once I check in and get my key.” Killua said, rolling his eyes and grabbing another bag. “You better not have gone crazy with the decorations. Remember, I’m living there too.” That earned another whine.

 

“Why are you so mean? I’m just excited! There’s so many people here and I already have a cool roommate and-” Gon broke off his own rambling, “I’m really happy!”

 

“Yeah, I can tell.” Killua said, dropping the last piece of luggage on the ground and holding the phone with his hand. “I’m excited too, but a little patience, okay? I’m leaving my car now but I’m gonna have to come back with the rest of my loose stuff. Then I might need to track down Canary and help her too.” 

 

“Then we can go get dinner or something- maybe see a movie!” Killua flinched at Gon’s volume, a blush slowly covering his cheeks. 

 

“That sounds like a date, dummy! We already have soulmates, remember?” Killua scolded, trying to keep his volume down. He was met with a few seconds of silence before a panicked rambling.

 

“No, no, no, no! Nothing like that! I just meant as friends- as roommates! Friends go on movies, right? I think they do- but I’ve never had one. A friend, not a movie. I’ve owned tons of movies. But friends have to eat and movies are fun and-” 

 

“ _ Gon _ . Shut up, will you? It’s fine. I’ll be up soon.” Killua said, quickly getting exasperated. He ended the call quickly before Gon could say anything else to embarrass them, and set off with his bags of clothes and toiletries toward the student housing office. 

 

He and Gon first talked back in December, when they found out about being roommates. Killua had paced his room for hours, debating on whether or not to call Gon first or whether it would be appropriate to text him instead. Of course, none of that mattered because Gon was the one to initiate contact- and then cop out and hang up seconds later. Killua had been nervous at first… until Gon actually started talking when he called back. Because not only was Gon an idiot with an excitable personality- Gon’s life was reminiscent of his soulmate’s.

Gon’s dad bailed and left him with his aunt-  _ check _ . 

He lived in a small fishing town by water-  _ check _ . 

Hyperactive personality-  _ check _ . 

No other kids around his age and, thus, no friends-  _ check _ . 

Still hasn’t met his soulmate-  _ check _ .

 

Killua was the type of person to never get his hopes up for anything. It was easier that way, because it meant that he wouldn’t be disappointed. Gon always said that it was a sad way to live, but bad habits are hard to break. And when you live in the environment that Killua did- where parents constantly went back on their words, were manipulative and abusive, and hated seeing their own child happy- you learn to fend for yourself. And sometimes, that meant choosing realism over fantasy and hope. 

 

But this time, Killua couldn’t stop his heart from fluttering. He couldn’t stop his blood from running cold from sheer nerves. He couldn’t help but hope that Gon was somehow his soulmate. He couldn’t deny the stark similarities between them, and he couldn’t deny that everything was ominously going well for him this past year. Ominous because nothing _ ever  _ went well for him. Nothing ever could when he was the son of Kikyo and Silva Zoldyck. Sure, he had the money and material possessions. But he lacked a life for himself, freedom to make choices. He lived in constant fear of being punished for anything and everything. Ever since they found out about his acceptance to Yorknew, things have been… quiet. Weird. His mother doted on him, his father telling him how proud he was. They bought him things for college, went to orientation,  _ his dad bought a U of Y t-shirt _ . Things had been going well for Killua, and, even though this was likely some agenda his parents had, Killua decided that hope was justified here. All good things that happened to him pointed to Gon. And he could definitely live with that. 

 

He lugged his bags into the housing office and listened to the housing rep’s spiel- the Welcome Week events, dorm rules, directions to his room and to the advising offices. The bright-eyed girl introduced a blond-haired guy nearby as his RA, Kurapika, before handing him his mail key, map, and dorm key and sending him on his way. 

 

Blue eyes took in his surroundings as he went back into the sun, his muscles relaxing despite the weight of his bags pulling on his arms. “I’m here… I’m actually here.” He mumbled in stunned disbelief, watching the other freshmen milling around with luggage, maps, new friends and crying parents. He shook his head and trudged forward, snapping himself out of his daze.

  
  
  


“244, 245, 246, 247… 248!” Killua sighed in relief. His bags had really been getting heavy and he was starting to think that he was in the wrong building all together. “Finally. Took long enough.” He shifted everything that he was carrying, trying to free up a hand to unlock the door before settling on kicking the door. “You better be in there, Gon! I’m carrying, like, a hundred pounds!” 

 

A minute later, the door flung open to reveal a guy his age. Killua stood in silence, his blue eyes taking in Gon’s appearance: tanned skin, warm brown eyes, and... hair with a green hue.  _ His soulmate’s hair.  _ Killua noticed Gon doing the same thing, his brown eyes looking as if they were taking in every detail of Killua’s face, before finally focusing on his eyes. 

 

“Hi, Killua.” Gon spoke softly, his voice breathless. Killua felt his cheeks heat up in response. 

 

“H-Hey, Gon.” Killua said with a shy smile, suddenly feeling self conscious. He shifted his feet, remembering that he was weighed down, “Um, a little help?” 

 

“Oh! Sorry! Let me grab some of those!” Gon said a little too loudly, reaching forward and grabbing a few bags with ease. He whined a little as he carried them over and sat them on the bare bed. “Killua, you said these were heavy!”

 

Killua stared at Gon dumbly, following him into the room. “Gon, I weighed those before I left. All of this together is easily a hundred pounds. What are you made of?”

 

Gon looked thoughtful before shrugging, “I’m not exactly sure how to answer that.” 

 

Killua rolled his eyes, turning toward the door to bring up the last of his things. He paused, grasping the knob. “You’re crazy… But, Gon?” 

 

“Hm?” Gon hummed, flopping back onto his bed looking up his roommate. 

 

Killua held his gaze, a hesitant glint in those eyes. “You’re… I mean… we’re…” He let out a shaky sigh before smiling softly, “I’m glad you’re my roommate, Gon.” 

 

Gon smiled softly at Killua, “Me too.” 

  
  


“Alright, I’m back!” Killua said, walking straight to his bed and flopping down onto it. “It took way too long to move Canary in. Still wanna go grab-” 

 

Killua broke off when he finally lifted his head to look toward his roommate’s bed. The boy was fast asleep, his chest rising and falling with a soft smile gracing his lips. Killua shook his head and got up to turn off the light.

 

“Yeah, I’m tired too. We’ll get breakfast in the morning or something.” Killua said, curling up onto his own bed and letting himself shut his eyes. 

The forest filled his senses seconds later as he found himself in a familiar place, one he never had a name for-  _ Whale Island _ . He walked around aimlessly through the countless trees, toward the sound of the waves that lapped against the island’s coast. Killua knew where he was going by now. He’d been in this forest millions of times. He knew that he’d reach one of the island’s many cliffs- where his soulmate would be sitting, gazing at the endless sea. 

 

And suddenly he was there. The salt air blew through green hair, the sun kissing already tanned skin. Killua’s breath was taken away from him, gazing as the beautiful sight. 

 

“Sorry, I guess I fell asleep.” Gon’s sheepish voice rang in Killua’s ears before the boy turned to smile at him. The smile was blinding and Killua immediately felt a heated blush, forced to look away.

 

“Yeah, we were supposed to go on a date. I’m not a fan of being stood up.” Killua muttered, glaring at the ground and trying to force his flushed cheeks to cool themselves. Gon’s laugh sounded again and Killua was vaguely aware that he could hear movement. Only when he felt Gon’s sturdy hands taking his own, did he look up.

 

“I thought you didn’t want to go on a date, hm?” Gon said, a playful glint in his eyes.

 

Killua turned his face away with an indignant huff. “And you said it wasn’t like that.” Gon chuckled, letting go of one of Killua’s hands before grasping his chin.

 

“Well… It is now that I know for sure that you’re my soulmate.” Gon said softly, his hand never leaving Killua’s face. 

 

“It is? What.. um… do you mean?” Killua sputtered, feeling himself getting flustered again. This time, Gon didn’t laugh. This time, Gon simply drew Killua’s face closer. 

 

“Now that you’re my soulmate, it _ is _ like that.” Gon’s voice was just a whisper, his breath ghosting against Killua’s lips, “I want to date you, Killua. I want to show you the love your family never did. I want to make you the happiest person ever. I meant what I said before, back when I first saw you cry- now that I’ve found you, I’m keeping you away from your family and I won’t let you go. Not ever.” 

 

And with that, Gon claimed Killua’s first kiss. Warm and soft, clumsy and awkward. But it was perfect. It was them, and a kiss they’d waited for for a _ long _ time. 

 

The kind that one could only believe could happen in dreams. 

 

But as Gon pulled away, both boys flushed and giggling as they fought to catch their breath, they knew that it would be the first of many. They knew that soulmates really did exist. That Killua’s family had no hold on him and that now that they’d found each other, nothing could drive them apart.


	5. Chapter 4 - Gon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationships in dreams? Easy. But Gon's finding out that just because you know you're soulmates and just because you've found each other, doesn't mean that dating comes as easily.

**Chapter 4**

Dating Killua was everything that Gon had wanted and more, because for once, his soulmate wasn’t just in his dreams. He could talk and laugh and explore the world in their dreams, and when Gon opened his eyes and rolled over in his bed, there was Killua rubbing his eyes and complaining about how early it was.

Killua wasn’t a morning person- at all. He needed at least three cups of coffee (extra cream and sugar and the sweetest creamer possible) to make it to their 9:00am. Even then, Gon had to walk on eggshells around him to keep from getting hit over the head.

Killua was the most socially awkward human being on the face of the earth… even more awkward than Gon…. by at least a thousand percent. If Gon said anything remotely honest about his feelings for the blue-eyed boy, said boy would turn bright red, scratch the back of his head, and stomp away. After yelling at Gon for being embarrassing, of course. 

Killua was brilliant. But he couldn’t do basic math without writing each and every step down. He was articulate with his words, but took over a week to write a paper because he couldn’t grasp grammar. He was strong and fast, the makings of a pro athlete- but sports get in the way of studies and of Gon, so forget that. He was cut and had muscles for days, a human Adonis. But he ate nothing but candy and junk food all day and night. 

Damn, he was perfect. Killua Zoldyck was perfect and adorable and everything that Gon could want- and he didn’t even know it. That didn’t matter to Gon, though. Because he would just work each and every day to try to convince him. Even if it would cause his insecure boyfriend to spontaneously combust again and again.

Gon knew it would.

* * *

“You’d really help us, Dr. Morow? That’s so cool!” Gon grinned up at the red-haired male, perched on this desk. Killua stood by Gon’s side close enough for their arms to be touching, watching their professor like a hawk.

The man merely chuckled, “Of course. It’s my job, isn’t it? And I thought I told you all to call me ‘Hisoka’ at the beginning of the semester.” 

“Oh! Sorry! I keep forgetting.” Gon said, rubbing the back of his head. “I’ve never been to your office hours before. They’re at two, right?” Hisoka waved his hand.

“My hours are normally busy and I’d hate for us to get interrupted after I offered to help you two study. How about coming by at seven? I do appointments all the time, so it’s no problem at all.” Hisoka said, his tone and expression innocent enough. 

Gon felt Killua inch closer, pressing up against his side, still eerily silent. The brown-eyed boy had picked up on this as another habit of Killua’s- possessiveness (or protectiveness, Gon wasn’t really sure which). Though he had no idea what was triggering it this time, since usually it was brought on by someone staring at him too long or calling them words that he’d never heard before he left Whale Island. He had no idea why Killua’s aura suddenly felt so dark when they were just getting help for midterms. He shrugged it off for now and focused his attention on the man waiting patiently in front of him with an amused glint in his eyes as he gazed at Killua. Those golden eyes returned to Gon as soon as the boy started talking again, “Sure! Neither of us have class then, so that works. Right, Killua?” 

Killua didn’t take his eyes off of Hisoka, Gon noting that his body was still unnaturally tense, “Sure.” His tone was cordial, no sign of his usual sarcasm or playfulness. Not even the fake polite tone (“kiss ass voice,” as Killua called it) he commonly used with professors. Yep, it was time to get him out of here. He laced his fingers through Killua’s and felt the boy beside him relax, before dragging him out of the lecture hall, “See you later, Hisoka!”

Once they were a short distance away from the lecture hall, Killua blew up just as Gon had expected him to. “That freaking creep!  _ My office hours are normally busy _ \- what a load of bull! Nobody would go within a hundred feet of that guy if it meant being alone with him!” 

Gon calmly rubbed the back of Killua’s hand with his thumb, watching him with wary, confused eyes as they walked. “But, Killua, he was just trying to help us. You’re the one who’s always going on about needing good grades.” 

“That’s not the point! And that was  _ not _ what he was trying to do!” Killua roared, spinning to glare at his soulmate. Gon gave a frustrated sigh, seeing a few stray students turning to eye them curiously. 

“Well, don’t yell at  _ me _ ! He’s our professor and he offered to  _ help _ ! You know I’m no good at studying- so I need all the help I can get!” Gon said loudly, his feet grinding to a halt.

“I  _ know _ . You’re a complete  _ moron _ . And with any  _ normal _ professor, I’d suggest all the office hours they offer.  _ But- _ ” Killua said, firing back and jabbing Gon’s chest, “Hisoka’s not normal! He’s a pervert who eyes you like a bitch in heat.  _ Every. Single. Class. _ He looks at me too, for that matter. He literally wants us alone so he can do…  _ adult _ things with us.” 

Gon glared at Killua, confusion threatening to overpower his annoyance. Killua could be so frustrating at times like this, when he acted like he was spelling something out and yet he  _ still  _ made no sense. “But we  _ are _ adults, Killua!” 

Killua sputtered, staring at Gon with wide eyes before leaning close and hissing quietly, a scarlet hue slowly covering his cheeks. “Sex, Gon!” 

It was Gon’s turn to flush and grow embarrassed, staring at Killua. “N-N-Now’s not the place for that, Killua! A-And we haven’t been dating that long. And we haven’t even-” 

Killua quickly covered Gon’s mouth, his face now a burning crimson. “Not us, dork! I meant he wants to- with us! Why else would he ask us to come at seven when all the other offices are closed? Why wouldn’t he just say to come at five after his hours are over and when people are still in the building?” He stomped away, dragging a dazed Gon behind him. “Geez…  _ you’re so embarrassing _ …”

“O-Oh…” Gon managed to squeak out as his soulmate led the way back to their room. 

The rest of the walk was quiet, with Gon trying to work through his embarrassment, and, he imagined, Killua was trying to do the same. Though the longer that they remained in silence, the worse Gon began to feel. He understood why it was so embarrassing. After all, the two of them hadn’t even kissed in real life yet. And even in the dreams, it had only been a couple of times in the same dream their first night as roommates. Sure, they’d been on dates. But Killua had mentioned not wanting to rush things, and he had also mentioned not even being sure of his feelings- something that had hit Gon like a ton of bricks. 

Mito had crammed into his head over and over again growing up that soulmates could mean eternal friendship and companionship- not necessarily love. That never bothered Gon in the past because he’d just assumed that, when the time came, they would come together and be in love and that it would be sheer perfection. But now those words came back, and he was suddenly struck with the fear that he’d kissed Killua too quickly. He was suddenly afraid that maybe he was only destined to be friends with Killua, that Killua would find someone else to date and marry and have a family with. That, despite having a “soulmate,” Gon would be alone and heartbroken.

But that wouldn't happen, right? They were boyfriends... right?

“Hey, you okay over there? You haven’t said two words since you found out about the Hisoka thing.” Killua asked. Gon hummed in response, turning his gaze from the ceiling to the white-haired boy on his own bed. Killua frowned, “Look, if you’re freaked out or something, I can report the guy. I’m sure the school will let us drop the class if we tell ‘em what happened.” 

Gon shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips. “No, it’s okay. I do hope Hisoka won’t be mad at us for standing him up, though.”

“Eh, he can deal with it.” Killua said, getting up from the bed and crossing over to Gon’s. “Move over.” 

“Huh? Why?” Gon frowned, letting out a small whine as he was scooted towards the wall. Killua rolled his eyes.

“So I can figure out what’s going on with you. That’s why.” Killua said simply, laying on his side on the bed so that he was facing Gon. His eyes were serious, equal parts curious and concerned. “Seriously, Gon. You’ve been acting so weird lately. I mean, I get that it’s weird us being soulmates and roommates and everything. But lately you’ve been zoning out more and you look  _ through _ me. We were perfectly fine at first and then you started acting like this. Did I do something wrong or something?”

“No! You didn’t do anything at all!” Gon said a little too loudly, his eyes wide. He lowered his voice and shook his head softly, “It’s… It’s not you. Don’t worry.” 

Killua’s eyes narrowed, and Gon could actually feel his shell hardening again. “Don’t pull that ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit, Gon. If you’re worried about hurting my feelings, don’t. I can handle it. So just tell me what’s going on and stop beating around the bush.” 

Gon recoiled, “I-It’s not like that! I’m not…”

“Not what, Gon? We’re soulmates, right? We’re supposed to tell each other everything. And you’re hiding something that’s bothering you… You don’t get to do that, Gon. Whatever’s your business, is mine. Whatever has to do with you, has to do with me. You don’t get to push me to the side- especially not when whatever’s bothering you obviously has to do with me. The way you keep looking at me and zoning out…Just tell me.” Killua snapped, resting his forehead against Gon’s. Blue eyes boring into brown.

Gon’s eyes shone with tears, the liquid pooling over and streaming down his cheeks, his eyes shutting in a vain effort to trap the tears. “It’s just hard… It’s hard knowing that I’ve been in love with you for years, and hearing you say that you don’t know how you feel. What if soulmates doesn’t mean lovers for us? What if you love someone else and I’m left in the dust? I’d let you go because I want you happy but it’ll hurt so bad, Killua. A-And it hurt that when I thought you meant us having sex earlier, you thought that was so ridiculous. I know that I’m not that attractive a-and you might not be...But still… You could have been nicer…” 

Gon was met with silence. No yelling or gasping. No coughing or laughing. There was nothing, not a sound. He slowly opened his eyes to look at the stunned, blushing boy beside him. “K-Killua?” 

Killua shook his head at the sound of his name, his eyes coming back into focus. “You… You love me?” He asked, his voice quiet and laced with disbelief. 

Gon’s cheeks heated up, realization hitting him that this was the first time he’d ever actually confessed. He nodded slowly, watching Killua’s reaction closely. 

Killua looked lost in thought before his cheeks flushed, “So that’s why you’ve been acting weird…B-But wait a second. If you really… If you love me… Then why didn’t you tell me before? I mean, I’m not a mind reader.”

“Because… Because you said you wanted to take it slow after I kissed you.” Gon said quietly, looking down, “And you said that you didn’t know how you felt. If I told you that I’ve loved you since before we met, I thought I’d scare you away or something. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to love me back or to feel guilty if you don’t.” 

“Gon, have I told you that you’re an idiot?” Killua said with a sigh. “I mean, you’re one of the most selfish people that I’ve ever met. Yet, the one time you’re self _ less _ , it’s super inconvenient.” 

Gon puffed out his cheeks, whining. “Killua! You can’t tell me an idiot after I just answered your questions! And I’m  _ not  _ selfish!”

“Are too!” Killua said, rolling his eyes. He flicked Gon’s forehead, earning another whine. “You don’t mean to be, but you usually are. It just figures that the one time you were selfless and hurting yourself to protect me, you were way off base. You should have just told me, dork. You would have saved us both a lot of worrying.” 

“But I still would have felt bad… I was going to put you in a bad position. I mean you wanted to take things slow and you aren’t sure about you feel.” Gon mumbled, looking away.

“Unless I  _ do _ know how I feel.” Killua said, grasping Gon’s chin and gently forcing him to look at him, “Unless I’ve known the whole time and I was just scared. Gon, we talked about this the day we _met_. You do realize it’s _October_ , right? When you’re living in the same room, a few months is a long time to figure things out.” 

“I... But… When…” Gon fumbled with his words, Killua’s hand still holding his face inches away.

Killua laughed softly, “How do you have an A in English Comp again?” He gently nudged Gon’s nose with his own. “But I didn’t tell you the truth because, knowing you, you’d go headfirst into this. You already are embarrassing enough as my best friend. Can you imagine what you’re going to be like as my boyfriend? Not to mention, you haven’t exactly been making any moves on me since we kissed. How was I supposed to know you were still interested? This isn’t all on me, Freecss.” Killua laughed again, his breath mixing with Gon’s. 

Gon was at a loss for words, his mind hazy at their close proximity as the words slowly sunk in. “So… You love me too? You want to be my.. my boyfriend?”

“Mhmm… Keep up, Gon. Otherwise you can’t defend yourself whenever I call you an idiot… or a moron… or a buffoon… or a dummy…” Killua whispered against Gon’s lips, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

Gon’s eyes slipped shut just as Killua’s lips met his in a heated kiss. His fingers found their way into Killua’s hair, Killua’s arms around Gon’s back pulling him closer. Gon’s mind was racing as Killua’s lips traveled to his neck, teeth scraping at the skin. “M-Mm… Killua, wh-what are you doing?” 

Killua kept working on the skin for a few more seconds before pulling away and simply resting his forehead against Gon’s. Killua pecked his lips, gazing at him lovingly, “Just showing my boyfriend how much I love him. So you’d better get used to it, okay? I may want to take things slow with the physical stuff, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna be hands-off.”

Gon nodded dumbly before beaming at Killua, hugging him close. “No complaints from me. Hey, since we aren’t seeing Hisoka later, can we just take a nap together? I’m kind of tired.” 

Killua rolled his eyes but kept Gon flush against his chest, resting his chin atop the boy’s head. “You sleep too much, Gon. It’s not healthy.” Though even as he said that, his eyes drooped until they eventually closed. 

Gon hummed in response, already drifting off with a soft smile. “Night, Killua… I love you.” 

“I love you too, idiot.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S DONE! Sorry for updating a day late! I was crazy busy yesterday and time got away from me. This chapter seems a tad bit out of place to me and I'm not exactly sure about the ending. Sometimes I read it and love it, other times I go back and read it and hate it. But I've decided to post as is and see what you guys think! Rate and review, please <3
> 
> Again, this is just the first part of a series! I plan on working on this AU for a WHILE. Whether it be one-shots, drabbles, multi-chaps... I'll add in more characters and character interactions with different works, focus on different situations, have different genres.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you stick with me to see what ends up happening next in the collection of the Dreams AU!
> 
> If there's a specific prompt you want for the collection (or even completely separate from the AU), send me an ask on Tumblr (@kirbyxdesu) or leave a comment on the fic since Ao3 doesn't have dms <3


End file.
